What no one tell's you about becoming a new Mom; The first weeks of Mommyhood

  

   We all know the beautiful side of becoming a new Mom. The overwhelming amount of love that washes over you as they plop that sticky little baby on your chest for the first time. Love has a whole new meaning now. The joy that fills your heart as your baby gazes into your eyes during those late night feedings. The first time they utter the word "Mama". The way they squeeze your neck and kiss your face. Being a Mom is the most amazing feeling in the world, it's truly indescribable. You have never known a love so deep and profound. 

But what they don't tell you about those early weeks...

After that baby is born you begin to fill with a new kind of anxiety. 

This is called Mom anxiety...

You must now love and protect this child for the rest of its life. It's a huge responsibility that you didnt understand before you held them.

After birth you're in an immense amount of pain. Speaking from a vaginal birth experience; you are now bleeding, stitched and laying on a bed harder than rocks. 

Even walking to the shower feels like you will literally split in two. 

Are my organs going to fall out !?

That hot shower feels so amazing on your sore body. 

You are terrified to sneeze or pee.

Peeing while sneezing is the new norm. 

Heaven forbid the first time I poop....

You're nervous for the first latch and if the baby will automatically know how to breastfeed. They make that always look so easy and natural.... NOT.

BREASTFEEDING hurts. It can be super painful if that baby has a small mouth or any type of tie. 

Your nipples tingle as your milk comes in, normally 3 days PP.  Burning.. tingling.. exploding...ouch

They fill up like big balloons on the verge to explode if you even look at them.

Stay the hell away husband, these fun bags are off limits, no touching! 

Your nipples are cracked and bleeding and the water from the shower hits them like razor blades.

Loading on nipple cream and changing those pads every 20 minutes.

Great, Now your boobs and vagina hurt.

That peri bottle is a life saver.

Cooling pads, check. Witch hazel spray, check. Pads the size of a landing strip at the air port, check!

You have so much joy in your heart, most days just looking at that beautiful baby you begin to cry. 

You cry most of the time. 

Happy, joy, love, exhaustion and doubt.

You doubt your Mom skills 24-7.

Are you feeding them enough?

Are they warm enough ?

What's wrong, she wont sleep?

Why is she sneezing so much?!

Did I burp her enough ?

The baby sleeps all day and parties all night. Never mind, babies DON'T SLEEP.

They never sleep.

The level of exhaustion you feel is not even on the radar.

They eat every 1.5 -2 hrs if they are BF.

They stay latched onto you for hours on end literally sucking the life out of you.

But you enjoy it, you keep pushing on, you are their mom you have to provide for them. You won't give up no matter what.

You've never felt so many emotions in a 24 hour period in your life.

I think I got 20 minutes of sleep this week.

Your MIL keeps asking to visit.

You want company, you want to show of this beautiful bowling ball you just thrusted out with no pain meds BUT you are exhausted. 

You can't utter the thought of entertaining company.

What if I bleed all over myself?

What is my boobs leak everywhere?

What if she cries the whole time?

You don't want anyone to touch your new, clean and germ free baby. Stay away people ! She is mine and I don't have to share her. 

You feel so protective all the time. 

You accept the company. 

You have so much joy as they tell you how gorgeous she is. "She looks so healthy and happy they say. Shes just so beautiful. We love her so much! " 

What about me...

What about the badass that just labored for 19 hours, thrusted out a watermelon, no pain meds, 6 stitches and laid in that bed for 2 days. 

What about the Mom ?! 

Everyone who visits is so fixated on the new baby, which bring you so much joy but also makes you feel sad. 

I'm so happy why am I so emotional?

Does anyone even see me anymore?  

I guess it's just the hormones talking....

I am so tired.

What the hell are these feelings?!

You snap at your husband regularly.

Shhhhhh, tip toe!

Don't slam the cupboard she is sleeping! 

You are out at the store for the first time.

You forget the wipes.

Packing a diaper bag is like preparing for a three month vacation.

Dont forget the diapers, wipes, changing pad, a blanket, hat, booger sucker, nail trimmers, hand mittens, bottles, breast pads, vagina pads...what else am I forgetting ?! 

Hang that tag on the carseat 

" don't touch my baby or you will die"

You browse the aisles as she sleeps peacefully in the carrier. You are beaming with joy. Mostly because she is sleeping. But you are out in the world again. Doing normal things like shopping. This is fun. And now I have this gorgeous baby in tow.

God why am I so starving!?

You don't remember the last time you ate. 

or showered Or brushed your teeth. 

You actually havent brushed them in 3 days.

Your hair is greasy and has been in the same bun going on the 4th day now. 

Ouuuu baby clothes !

From here on out you will never leave a store without something for your child.

Car rides makes you anxious.

You develop a new level of paranoia.

Slow down, watch out...

Those people are following too close.

Are you sure her seat belt is tight enough?

Nights are long. Really long.

What am I doing wrong?

Why doesn't she sleep?

Maybe its gas.

All babies have gas and belly aches.

Gripe water is your new best friend.

Pat her back. Jiggle out the gas.

Nice warm bath finally soothes her.

You rock your baby constantly.

You rock back and forth even when your arms are empty.

Poop diapers don't phase you.

Nothing phases you anymore 

You've seen it all as a mom.

Orange poop, that's normal right?! 

Am I doing a good job ?

Does my baby love me?

She cant love me, all she does is cry !!!

What am I doing wrong ?

Nothing you are doing nothing wrong.

BABIES CRY

and they cry alot. They cry because they are hungry, they have gas or simply because they need to feel your warmth.

Babies cry so just accept it. It's what they do. They cry because they are babies. 

Your milk is regulated and your lady bits feel much better as the weeks go on.

You think you are ready for sex.

Your poor husband has been deprived.

You feel so guilty.

Does he even love me anymore?

God, I'm so mean to him lately.

I hope he still thinks I'm attractive....

Your sex drive is gone as well.

Your hormones are wacky.

You're in pain still and thats the last thing on your mind. 

SEX HURTS.

That's normal. You had stitches and you just birthed a human. Your lady bits are sore and your organs are still shifting into place. You are not alone trust me. No one tells you about sex and the pain. Grant your body some grace. Give it some time.

Explain your body isnt ready yet.

Breastfeeding makes you "dry" down under. Get a good lubricant, that helps. 

Hormones from BF mess up your sex drive. That's totally normal too.

And let's be honest your mind is 110% always thinking about the baby. 

How can't it be? You're her Mom! 

You have survived the first 8 weeks.

Your body is beginning to feel better.

You've gotten the hang of nursing.

The baby is finally starting to sleep longer.

You're learning all her cries.

Her gas has settled down 

and she started smiling! 

You feel like you're finally getting the hang of it! You are so proud of yourself and you absolutely should be. You have never been so in love. 

Great job Mama 

Xoxo 

*Stay tuned for*

"what no one tells you about breast feeding; tips and tricks"