What the Stay-at-Home Mom needs you to hear

My day starts at 5:45 am like most,

And it doesn't end until 9:00 pm, that's if everyone has slept all night and is in good health, a rare but hopeful easy "work day". That means on average I "work" roughly 15 hours a day, 365 days a year, no paid vacations, sick days or time off from my "job". 

As Moms we don't have those punch clocks to ensure there is an ending to our long day.

There are no employee of the month charts or gold stars to say "good job". We work long tiresome hours, with little to no appreciation. No incentive checks or Christmas bonuses. There are few lunch breaks, or any kind of true break. There is no handbook with advice or instructions how to handle our "employees". No quiet ride home in the car to unwind from a hard day of work. There is just "work" 365 days a year. 

Yes we know we choose this path as a Stay-at-Home Mom and we also know all what we sacrificed to be here. We have the diplomas framed and hung as reminders. Trust me, We do not need the constant reminder "you chose this life". All we really need is some respect and understanding. By no means are we complaining, we just get wrapped up in the shaming and honestly, we are sick of it.

Most Stay-at-Home Moms get in a state of never actually "leaving" the job site, we never get to punch out. Being a Stay-at-home Mom can consume you, making you feel the pressure to preform and keep up. Our Mommy brain never, ever, fully shuts off. We try to keep up with what the world tells us we should be doing as Stay-at-home Mom's, and a lot of us find ourselves overwhelmed physically and emotionally, struggling with anxiety, identity and/or depression issues. On top of that we lack proper support and understanding from others. We push ourselves to extreme levels simply because we love our children so much and never want to do anything less than exceptional. 

I'm going to tell you this, since so many feel the need to question the work we do;

Being a Stay-at-Home Mom is NOT letting your house look like crap! Our homes look emaculate because we "work" all day to keep them looking so. That means we spend approximately 4-6 hours EVERYDAY cleaning. Sweeping, mopping, scrubbing, organizing etc...Our homes are lived in 24 hours a day, unlike most homes, so the maintenance alone on keeping a clean home, is a full time job all in its self. 

Being a Stay-at-Home Mom is NOT sitting on our butt all day. We chase kids all day and we push strollers miles upon miles. We entertain, we get down on the floor and we physically play with our children. We set up crafts and activities and plan outings to keep them socialized. We also teach our children everything they know, from shapes and colors to types of animal's and all their noises. We try to schedule enough learning activities to fill up a whole day and prevent boredom melt downs. We put all our efforts into making sure our children are excelling in all that they do.

 

Being a Stay-at-Home Mom is NOT ordering take out or going out for meals. We cook three square meals a day. That is planning and searching for new ideas to keep the kids eating healthy. It's the prep work, the cooking, then the disaster of clean up for hours on end, every single day. Plus all of the snacks in between that are on high demand. We beat ourselves up over the type of foods we feed them and if they are healthy. Meal time is a huge part of our daily routines and we spend hours nourishing our families. Not to mention the amazing Mom's that produce breastmilk for their babies on top of all they already do for their family.

Being a Stay-at-Home Mom is NOT getting time alone.  I feel alot of people take their "alone time" for granted. We can go days without leaving our homes. Few understand the emotional toll this takes on us Moms. We do not shower alone or pee alone, especially when the kids are little. We do not have time for personal hobbies or interests, other than raising our kids, cleaning and cooking. We don't have the time for "us" because we are so consumed in putting out our best "work" into our families. We invest just about all of our energy into our children, although we get burntout easily, we wouldn't want it any other way. 

Being a Stay-at-Home Mom is NOT letting your kids rule the roost. We take great pride in raising our children. Their behavior we feel is a direct reflection in the quality of our parenting. So every action or behavior they show, we blame ourselves for it and question our parenting skills. Did we do enough? Are they thriving enough being home with me? We question our abilities daily and wonder if we can keep going. We raise our children, WE DO IT, not a daycare. We put in that work and discipline and we strive daily to raise loving, respectful children and this is not always easy. There is a reason why daycares make a lot of money and also why they have so many hands on deck! 

Being a Stay-at- Home mom is NOT physically or emotionally easy. This is why a lot of Moms don't do it. If it was easy, everyone would do it. IT IS WORK. It takes one hell of a woman to choose this path and excel at it. 

Please. We ask that you STOP ACTING LIKE WE DON'T WORK, BECAUSE WE DO, and we work very hard. We absolutely love being home with our children. This amazing, selfless work that we are doing is so important and We are done letting anyone make us feel otherwise!

RESPECT THE STAY-AT-HOME MOM- she deserves it. 

xoxo